Funny birthday sayings

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A list of the funny birthday sayings. I advise learning these hilarious sayings well, you never know when you might need them! Here is a great collection of witty funny birthday sayings that is sure to put a smile on your face.
Funny birthday sayings

Funny birthday sayings

Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirment home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?”
Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!”
“Really? like a newborn baby?”
“Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”

Forget about the past, you can’t change it,
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it,
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!

Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.

You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar….. Yung No Mo

I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!

You think you are special JUST because it’s your birthday today…No way you’re special every day!!!

How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!

Act your age not your shoe size.

I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.

You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!

I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!

That awkward moment when people are singing Happy Birthday to you and you have no idea where to look.

Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!

At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.

Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
Franklin Pierce Adams

Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
Cora Harvey Armstrong

Of late I appear to have reached that stage when people who look old
who are only my age.
Richard Armour

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.
Faith Baldwin

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball

To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.
Bernard Baruch

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
E. Joseph Cossman

The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.
Doris Day

One compensation of old age is that it excuses you from picnics.
William Feather

Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.
Bob Hope

Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Ogden Nash

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Satchel Paige

We are so fond of one another, because our ailments are the same.
Jonathon Swift

You’ve heard of the three ages of man – youth, age, and “you are looking wonderful.”
Francis Cardinal Spellman

When I was young, the Dead Sea was still alive.
George Burns

You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.

When I have a birthday, I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

When I was born, I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.

You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar . . . Yung No Mo

I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!

You’re not 40, you’re 18 . . . with 22 years of experience!

Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!

You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!

Old enough to know better, young enough to still do it.

Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.

I’m just here for the cake.

If you want to look young and thin on your birthday . . . then hang around a bunch of old, fat people.

Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday . . . and assume I said them. Happy birthday!

There are lots of good people in the world. One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never remembers her age.

Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, “Happy Birthday.”

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

Looking 50 is great . . . if you’re 60.

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.

So far, this is the oldest I have ever been.

It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit . . . but check it for wrinkles first!

You’re so old that when you looked at your birth certificate, it said expired.

People say that the good die young, so I guess that make you an old badass!

It’s proven that at the age of 41, you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!

Another year, another new place that aches.

It’s okay to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.

An old fart is as good as a new one.

Don’t think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.

The younger you try to look, the older you actually are.

Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.

May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.

Wishing you many more candles and a cake big enough to fit them all on.

Funny birthday sayings 2

Funny birthday sayings

You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by “for your age.”

Don’t forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.

The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui, and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.

May your life be long and useful like a tissue paper so that whenever you unroll a day it always brings you success and victory.

May you live as long as the earth exist.

May you live to complete the circuit of life,hoping to see you one day when you are one month old starting another circle of life.

You should celebrate everyday like it is your birthday because life is too short to let a day go.

You know you are getting old when instead of blowing of a candle,you put it off with your saliva because your lungs are too old to produce air.

A year has 365 days but it is only a day that you receive presents and birthday wishes,yet some people only miss to wish you,here is a special wish from me.

All the world is a birthday cake so take a piece of it but not too much,a piece is sweet but all of it is poison.

You know you are getting old when the birthday candle is more expensive than the cake itself.

In any birthday,people need your presence more than the presents,so availing yourself is a present in presences.

The best way to celebrate your wife birthday is to do it once.

Being old is not a sin,happy birthday .

Many people remember presents more than the years they have while celebrating their birthdays.

It is a good feeling when you forget your birthday and someone remembers it for you.

We ought to grow up and make the wrinkles our medals of the life we have come through,they are us and what makes us celebrate each birthday.

The more you enjoy and celebrate your life,the more is in life to celebrate.

Every year in your birthday you can an opportunity to start a fresh.

How can you celebrate your birthday if you don’t know your years.

“Two older men sit on a park bench. One says, “Joe, I’m 84 years old, and I have nothing but aches and pains. How do you feel?” Joe says, “I feel like a newborn babe!” “Really, a newborn babe?” “Yes! I have no teeth, no hair, and I think I might’ve wet my pants!” Happy birthday!”

“Listen, I hate to be the one to do this, but you need to get your birthday habit under control. It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will, in fact, kill you. So give it a rest will you?”

“Happy birthday! Want to feel young and thin again? Let’s go hang out with a bunch of old and fat people.”

“Happy birthday! You know you’re getting old when you never walk past a bathroom without saying “well, I’m here already – I may as well pee.””

“You know what they say: it’s better to be over the hill than buried 6 feet underneath it. Happy birthday!”

“On your birthday I’m going to share the secret to staying young: lying about your age.”

“Smile – today is your birthday. Be happy and remember that things could be worse. Just think about what you’ll be like in ten years – yikes!”

“Happy birthday! Congrats on joining the 28-years-old-forever club. We have millions of members all over the world.”

“Congratulations on finally reaching the snapdragon phase of your life: one part of you has snapped, and the other part of you is dragging. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! They say that age is just a number. Yea right – and jail is just a room!”

“Don’t be bummed about your birthday! You know what they say: it’s better to be a year older than to be one month late. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! Today, I would advise you to be nice to your kids. Remember, the older you get, the closer you get to having them choose a nursing home.”

“Wait – you’re how old today? You’re so lucky you’re not a dog. They would have put you down by now. Oh, well! Happy birthday!”

“Congratulations! You only look one year older than you did on your last birthday.”

“Happy birthday! May you live to be so old, people start wondering if you’re the walking dead.”

“Here’s to you on your birthday! May you live to be so old, you sincerely wish you were dead.”

“Happy birthday! Don’t let a 27-year old Olympic gold medal winner make you feel like a failure on your birthday.”

“Happy birthday. I’m so sorry you’ve reached an age where pop culture marketers are no longer targeting you.”

“It’s a special day – your birthday! Let’s go out and celebrate you being one year closer to removing your age from your Facebook profile.”

“Happy birthday! Congrats on reaching an age that makes your receding hairline seem appropriate.”

“Forgetting your birthday was merely an April Fool’s Joke. Unless, of course, I did remember it, in which case – please disregard this message. Happy birthday!”

“I wish you a very happy birthday! Just please remember to tell me how old you’re pretending to be, so we can keep up the charade.”

“Happy birthday to a person whose age now makes them cry even more than the day they came into this world.”

“Happy birthday to someone who is now taking drugs on their birthday for serious medical reasons.”

“I’m so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn’t think you would live this long. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! I sincerely hope that you don’t take this early birthday message as a sign that you might not make it.”

“On your birthday, remember this: age is only a number that represents how attractive, happy and able-bodied you are. Really, it’s nothing to get worked up over. Happy birthday!”

“Wishes may come and go, but age always sticks with you. Happy birthday!”

“I believe you forgot my birthday present last year. I’m returning the favor this year. I’m afraid a Happy Birthday is all you’re going to get.”

“Happy summer birthday! Get out and enjoy it while you’re still young enough to not fall into the “high risk” category for heat stroke death.”

“I would be so much more into your birthday if it were my birthday.”

“You know, I would be a whole lot more excited about you turning one year older if I was in your will. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! Let’s celebrate the anniversary of your clever escape from the womb.”

“As you get older, there are three important things that happen. First, you lose your mind. I can’t remember the other two. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! Remember this today: if you lick all the frosting off a cupcake, it becomes a muffin – and muffins are healthy.”

“Happy birthday! After seeing all the candles on your cake, I seriously hope that you topped off your fire insurance.”

“Happy birthday to the one person I hope is still around when the iPhone 547 comes out.”

“A “few” years ago, you were smart, handsome and young. Today, you’re just an old fart. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! May the number of candles outnumber your gray hairs.”

“Wishing a happy birthday to someone who should probably start worrying about what the government is saying about Medicare.”

“I know you received so many birthday wishes yesterday, but who’s here with you today? That’s right! Me.”

“Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.”

“You know, they say that age is really all in the mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body. Happy birthday!”

“Experts say that people lose their minds when they get old. What they forget to mention is that you really won’t miss it. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! You know you’re old when the candles start costing more than the cake.”

“On your birthday, I want you to remember that you are only as old as you feel. But you’ll still always be older than me. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday. It’s official – you can now begin your quarter-life crisis.”

“It’s your birthday today, and I’m once again reminded how old I’m getting. Oh well – enjoy your day!”

“Today, you turn 29! I promise to stop counting the years after this one. Happy birthday.”

“Happy birthday to someone who is old enough to have had a Blockbuster card.”

“I hope that your birthday is the best it can possibly be for someone who can barely function in society.”

“Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.”

“Happy birthday, babe! We’re such a great match because you hate celebrating your birthday, and I’m just too darn lazy to plan anything.”

“Happy birthday to someone we’ll never have to say “died too young”.”

“Wishing you a very happy birthday. You don’t look a day over whatever age you were just a few years ago.”

“Happy birthday! Let’s go see Jurassic World. It’ll make you feel less like a dinosaur.”

“I was going to send you a paper card, but my Internet connection came back just in time for me to send you his message.”

“Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.”

“Happy birthday! We’re so glad we can count you among the living for another year.”

“Happy birthday weekend! You’re so lucky that you don’t have to endure an office birthday party.”

“It’s your birthday – a time for celebration. You’ve now reached an age where you can use the candles on your cake to light up your entire home. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday to someone who’s age has finally surpassed their number of Twitter followers.”

“I’m sending this birthday wish to someone who is now too old to sit through a whole movie without having to get up to use the bathroom.”

“I hope your birthday is filled with happiness and joy. Oh, you’re spending it with your family? I’m sorry –truly.”

“For your birthday this year, I’m going to give you a piece of paper that might be worth $450 million – but is probably really worth nothing.”

Funny birthday sayings 3

Funny birthday sayings

“Happy birthday to someone who is so old and lonely, they could be the subject of a spooky Halloween ghost story.”

“Happy birthday! May you live to be so old, handicapped stalls become a necessity and not just a spacious place to do your business.”

“I hope that you live to be so old, your family members talk about you like you’re not even there. Happy birthday!”

“Hey – don’t stress about getting older. You’re still young enough to be a professional curler, and that’s saying something. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! I would have bought you a present, but I didn’t think you wanted me to take money out of the alcohol budget.”

“Sending birthday wishes to someone who can still pass for a non-embarrassing age.”

“May you live long enough to be the direct cause of a Silver Alert. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday to someone I truly hope is not having a mid-life crisis.”

“Happy birthday to someone I hope realizes is way too old to go snowboarding or surfing.”

“Congratulations! You’re now so old, you’ll need performance-enhancing drugs just to ride a stationary bike. Happy birthday!”

“Wishing a happy birthday to someone who is old enough to have sent out birthday wishes on MySpace.”

“Happy birthday to someone who is almost old enough to die from the flu.”

“Happy birthday to a person so old, they use their smartphone to make an actual phone call.”

“Here’s to a special birthday! May you get so intoxicated, you forget how old you’re getting.”

“I hope your birthday is at least half as exciting as you portray it on Facebook and Instagram. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! You’ve now reached an age where it’s no longer appropriate to claim you’re 29.”

“Happy birthday to the one person whose agelessness is incredibly irritating.”

“Happy birthday and congratulations on becoming that “old, weird” person at summer music festivals.”

“It’s your birthday – let’s over-celebrate!”

“Happy birthday, girl. I remember a time when you weren’t so disturbingly old.”

“Happy birthday to you – and your newest chin.”

“Happy birthday! I’m just here for some cake.”

“Hey there! Happy birthday! I was going to bake you a delicious rum cake, but I decided to go with a regular cake. Also, I’m really drunk.”

“Birthdays are nothing more than nature’s way of telling us to sit down and eat more cake! I’m so glad that today is your birthday, and I can eat – I mean, share – your cake.”

“Happy birthday, old man! You know, when I turned two, I panicked because in one year, I doubled my age. I thought, if I keep going this way, I’ll be 64 by the time I turn 5. Thank goodness things don’t work this way.”

“Happy birthday to someone who thought they would have it all together by the time they reached this age.”

“You look great birthday girl – considering your age. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell anyone how old you really are.”

“They say that wisdom comes with age. That’s why you’re the wisest person I know. Happy birthday!”

“You know you’ve reached the old age when you back your car into the neighbor’s swimming pool from across the street and still believe that it was the car’s fault. You’re not quite there yet, but you’re close. Happy birthday!”

“As people get older, they gain the respect of the people around them. I just wanted to let you know that today, on your birthday, I have all the respect in the world for you.”

“On your birthday, we ask that you kindly act your age – not your shoe size. Thanks!”

“Happy birthday! This is the oldest I’ve ever seen you. Just wait until next year.”

“Happy belated birthday! I didn’t forget your birthday – I just forgot yesterday’s date!”

“Look, if you want me to remember your birthday, you’re going to have to start looking older. Happy birthday!”

“I really tried to send you something amazing for your birthday, but I couldn’t fit in any of the boxes at the post office. Happy birthday!”

“You may not be getting any younger, but at least you’re still younger than me. Happy birthday!”

“You know, when you think about it – a belated birthday wish is really just an extremely early birthday wish for next year. So technically, I’m already covered for next year. Happy birthday!”

“You are such a sweet, polite, honest and witty person. I hope you accept my birthday wishes and these white lies today!”

“I really hate to be the one to tell you this, but your wheelchair will be arriving tomorrow. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that you don’t look old. That’s what your relatives are for.”

“I know you really want to turn back the clock, but with the number of years you’ve racked up, I’m really not sure that’s even possible. Happy birthday anyway!”

“Happy birthday! I hope you don’t mind, but I re-wrapped the gift you gave me last year. You’re going to love it!”

“Happy birthday to someone who is officially so old, it’s creepy to watch teenage vampire movies.”

“I wanted to wish you a happy birthday today and let you know that I truly do look forward to honoring your request of not getting you a gift this year.”

“Happy birthday! I just wanted to let you know that I picked out your coffin on the way here.”

“Congrats – you’re officially too old to go to rock concerts. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday. By the time you reach the next “new 40”, you’ll already be dead.”

“Hey, happy 29th birthday – again. For the 20th”

“Now you know you’re getting old when you can’t even remember how old you are. Happy birthday!”

“I had plans to put an awesome, gorgeous present in your cake, but honestly, I didn’t want to get frosting in my hair. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! It’s great to be healthy, young and filled with so much energy. Can you even remember what that was like?”

“Alright, you can light the candles on your birthday cake now. I’ve alerted the fire department. Happy birthday!”

“You’re at that age where you’re old enough to know better, but you’re still young enough to do it anyway. Happy birthday and enjoy!”

“Today, it’s important to smile and laugh as much as you can. You don’t know how much longer you’ll have teeth! Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! I wish you many more candles, and for a cake that’s big enough to fit them all.”

“You’re so special, your birthday should be a national holiday. I would be happy to volunteer as the first person to take a day off of work in your honor. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! Never let anyone tell you that you’re old – especially if you can actually hear them say it without even having to read their lips.”

“Happy birthday! Today, we add another candle to your cake, and your doctor will add another prescription to your arsenal of medication.”

“It’s normal to ponder your life’s purpose and to have a personal crisis on your birthday. At least you get to be normal one day out of the year. Happy birthday!”

“I try to give people birthday cards that match their age. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get my hands on a stone tablet or some ancient papyrus. This modern greeting will have to do. Happy birthday!”

“On your birthday, I want you to remember that it’s not this day that makes you old; it’s the 364 other days in the year. Happy birthday!”

“Just this morning I was wishing that you were one year older today. Look at that – my wish came true! Happy birthday!”

“On your birthday, I wish you enough air to blow out all of your candles. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! Let’s make a deal – I’ll keep the presents, and you keep the age and cake. Come on! It’s a good deal.”

“Happy, happy birthday! I hope you enjoy those senior citizen discounts. You truly do deserve them.”

“Don’t be depressed about getting old. It sure beats the alternative. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday to a person that is smart, funny, witty, attractive and reminds me a lot of myself. :)”

“You know you’re getting old when the only thing you want on your birthday is not to be reminded of it. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! No, you’re not getting older. You’re just collecting wrinkles.”

“I have some good news and some bad news on your birthday. The good news is that you’re one year older and so much wiser. The bad news? The hangover isn’t going to be any better this year, so please make the most of it! Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! I got you a pair of sunglasses this year, so you can protect your eyes from the blinding light of all these candles.”

“Happy birthday! Not sure if you’re old yet? If you need the kids to help you blow out the candles, you’re definitely over the hill.”

“You know, you’re a really hard person to buy gifts for. After searching far and wide, I realized that there’s no greater gift than my presence. That’s my present to you – my presence. Get it? Happy birthday!”

“I hope your birthday’s a great one! Just stay away from the karaoke machine, and everyone will have a good time.”

“At your age, there’s nothing funny about birthdays. So let’s share a drink and celebrate the times when you were a young spring chicken! Happy birthday!”

“Congratulations! There are so many candles on your birthday cake – NASA can see it from space.”

“On your birthday, I hope you choose not to resist temptation. The older you get, the more temptation starts avoiding you, so enjoy the sweeter things in life while you still can. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! Today is the perfect day to forget all about your cares – and the fact that I didn’t get you a birthday gift.”

“When your birthdays start coming more often than you do, you know you have something to worry about. Happy birthday!”

“It’s your birthday, so you’re free to cry if you want to. But please don’t. That wouldn’t be much fun for the rest of us. We’d rather you have a few drinks and do something stupid and indecent. Happy birthday!”

“If I were you, I’d be concerned about my birthday. This year, you’ll probably need a flame thrower to light all of those candles. Happy birthday! Stay safe.”

“Wishing a happy birthday to someone who is wiser, more mature and could care less about material things. That’s why I know you won’t be upset about my lack of a birthday present.”

“Birthdays are really a double-edged sword. Sure, they bring parties and good times. But they also bring wrinkles and saggy bits. Happy birthday!”

“Time may be a wonderful healer, but it’s a terrible beautician. Oh well! Happy birthday.”

“Sending you lots of love and laughter on your birthday. Just don’t try too hard to blow out your birthday candles this year. You may lose your dentures!”

“Happy birthday! Counting your wrinkles is like trying to count the stars in the sky.”

“Happy birthday to someone I’m happy to share a cake with! Too bad you won’t be having any.”

“Wishing a happy birthday to someone I can only assume was still around when America relied on bayonets and horses.”

“Happy birthday! Just 364 more days until you have to endure another barrage of birthday wishes.”

“Happy birthday. You know, it would be a whole lot easier to get you the perfect gift if you’d just buy one yourself.”

“Happy birthday to a rare breed of person that was delivered into this world without a status or update or tweet.”

“Happy birthday! I would bake you a cake if I knew how to use an oven.”

“It’s your birthday! You shouldn’t stop yourself from getting ridiculously intoxicated just because it’s a Monday.”

Funny Birthday Quotes for Sister

Funny birthday sayings

Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.
Maurice Chevalier

They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.
Malcolm Cowley

Middle Age: When you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.
Georges Clemenceau

I’m six foot eleven. My birthday covers three days.
Darryl Dawkins

The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.
T.S. Eliot

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
Jim Fiebig

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Ogden Nash

If you survive long enough, you’re revered — rather like an old building.
Katherine Hepburn

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Groucho Marx

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Charles Schultz

The first hundred years are the hardest.
Wilson Mizner

Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.
Moe (The Simpsons)

If you’re yearning for the good old days, just turn off the air conditioning.
Griff Niblack

Funny Birthday Quotes for Friends

Funny birthday sayings

I was brought up to respect my elders; and now I don’t have to respect anyone.
George Burns

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Bob Hope

A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
Groucho Marx

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.
Anthony Powell

Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
George Bernard Shaw

Life begins at 40
Sophie Tucker

I’m not aging, I’m marinating.
Unknown

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
Unknown

Middle age is when a man is warned to slow down by a doctor instead of a policeman.
Unknown

Today is the yesterday you worried about tomorrow.
Unknown

Middle age is when you have the choice of two temptations; and you choose the one that will get you home earlier.
Unknown

Be kind to your kids, they’ll be choosing your nursing home.
Unknown

If things get better with age, then you’re approaching outstanding.
Unknown

The high cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.
Unknown

You have the wisdom of the ages, but it doesn’t show.
Unknown

Wrinkles are the service stripes of life
Unknown

Hilarious Birthday Quotes

Funny birthday sayings

Pull out a gray hair and seven will come to its funeral.
Dutch Proverb

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
Unknown

A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
Unknown

Life is one big canvas, throw all the paint you can at it.
Danny Kaye

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you didn’t commit.
Anthony Powell

The older you get, the faster you ran as a kid.
Steve Owen

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
Will Rogers

I’m in pretty good shape for the shape I’m in.
Mickey Rourke

Middle age is when your classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
Oscar Wilde

The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.
Oscar Wilde

I intend to live forever — so far, so good!
Stephen Wright

Have a great time with funny birthday sayings and don’t forget to share it with others!
More: Funny Sayings

Funny birthday sayings
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