Funny tombstone sayings


A list of the funny tombstone sayings. I advise learning these hilarious sayings well, you never know when you might need them! Here is a great collection of witty funny tombstone sayings that is sure to put a smile on your face.
Funny tombstone sayings

Funny tombstone sayings

Sir John Strange; Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange.
( Tombstone in England )

I was somebody. Who, is no business Of yours.
(Vermont tombstone )

Here lies Lester Moore; Four slugs from a .44; No Les No More.
( Tombstone Arizona )

John Brown is filling his last cavity.
(Dentist’s Tombstone )

He was young
He was fair
But the Injuns
Raised his hair
(Arizona Tombstone )

I told you that I was sick!
(Georgia Cemetary )

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake; Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
( Pennsylvania Tombstone )

Bill Blake
Was hanged by mistake.
(Colorado Tombstone )

Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me.
(Tombstone in England )

To follow you I’ll not consent, Until I know which way you went.
(Written on the tombstone in reply to one above

Here lays Butch.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
(Arizona Tombstone )

The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.
(England Tombstone )

Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there’s only the pod; Pease shelled out and went to God.
(Massachusetts Tombstone )

Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim.
We made the mistake, But the joke’s on him.
(Kansas Tombstone

Gone away, Owin’ more
than he could pay.
( England )

To save your world you asked this man to die:
Would this man, could he see you now, ask why?
(Unknown Soldier )

She always said her feet were killing her, but nobody believed her.
(Virginia tombstone

Here lies the body of
Thomas Kemp.
Who lived by wool
and died by hemp.
(Irland Tombstone )

Funny tombstone sayings 2

For God And His Country He Raised Our Flag In Battle And Showed A Measure Of His Pride At A Place Called “Iwo Jima” Where Courage Never Died
(A soldiers memorial

Here lies the body
Of Margaret Bent
She kicked up her heels
And away she went
(England Tombstone )

If I should die, think only this of me:
That there’s some corner of a foreign
field that is for ever England
(Tombstone in England )

He got a fish-bone in his throat
and then he sang an angel note.
(New York Tombstone )

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
(Unknown Tombstone )

Captain Thomas Coffin
Died 1842, age 50 years.
He’s done a-catching cod
And gone to meet his God.
(A fisherman’s tombstone )

Mary Weary, Housewife
Dere Friends I am going
Where washing ain’t done
Or cooking or sewing:
Don’t mourn for me now
Or weep for me never:
For I go to do nothing
Forever and ever!
(House wife tombstone )

Here lies the father of 29.
He would have had more
But he didn’t have time.
(Georga Tombstone )

Here lies Johnny Yeast
Pardon me For not rising.
(New Mexico tombstone )

Here beneath this stone we lie
Back to back my wife and I
And when the angels trump shall trill
If she gets up then I’ll lie still!
(Scotland Tombstone )

Here lies
an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
(Maryland Tombstone )

Funny tombstone sayings 3

Beneath this stone a lump of clay
Lies Uncle Peter Dan’els
Who early in the month of May
Took off his winter flannels.
(Scotland Tombstone )

Reader, I’ve left this world, in which
I had a world to do;
Sweating and fretting to get rich:
Just such a fool as you.
(Carolina Tombstone )

Once I wasn’t
Then I was
Now I ain’t again.
(Ohio Tombstone
Ope’d my eyes, took a peep;
Didn’t like it, went to sleep.
It is so soon that I am done for
I wonder what I was begun for.
(Wisconsin Tombstone )

I came into this world
Without my consent
And left in the same manner.
(Tennessee Tombstone

(Unknown Tombstone )

Ted Turner:
I know what I’m having ’em put on my tombstone: “I have nothing more to say.”

Peter Ustinov, when asked what he wanted on his tombstone:
“Please keep off the grass.”

W.C. Fields, when asked how his gravestone should read:
“Better here than Philadelphia.”

William Shatner:
I’m not going to have a tombstone. I’m going to be tossed in the air. Ashes, tossed like a salad.

Leonard Nimoy:
Beam me up, Scotty.

Andy Warhol:
I always thought I’d like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I’d like it to say “figment.”

Scott with a y ‏@GrowingUpScotty:
I want my tombstone to say, “Died from not forwarding that email to 20 people in the next 5 minutes.”

Julius Sharpe ‏@juliussharpe
Please write my tombstone in Comic Sans font.

Dorothy Parker:
Excuse my dust.

Franklin Pierce Adams
Over my dead body!

Have a great time with funny tombstone sayings and don’t forget to share the laughter and mental stimulation with others!
More: Funny Sayings

Funny tombstone sayings
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