Funny riddles for adults

How can you add eight 2s together so that they make up a total of 250?

If all Puffins are Drabbles, all Munklins are Shapribs, no Quaggles are Munklins, and all Drabbles are Munklins, is it the case that all Munklins are Drabbles?

I only come out at night, but not every night and I am not sleeping in the day. In fact I am always there, you just often don’t see me. Some people think I look like a bunny, whereas others claim I look like a person.

I am short, I come second among a dozen, and every four years I change in a way that none of the other dozen do. What am I?

A pair of glasses and a glasses case cost a total of $110. The case costs $100 less than the pair of glasses. How much do the pair of glasses cost?

I am long and cylindrical, I live in a house that can make you fall down, but I can also easily be crushed in the palm of your hand. What am I?

You see me 3 times in December, once in June, twice in November but never in July. What am I?

If 666 = 3, 99 = 2, 88 = 4, 0 = 1, 5555 = 0, 92= 1, 236 = 1, 832 = 2, then what does 9236 equal?

I have two different cases but I never win nor never lose and never need a lawyer.

What goes up but never goes down?

So Joe was once again caught lying to his teacher, and his teacher Mr. Rogers had enough. “Come here Joe” he said. “Here is your punishment, I want you to make a statement, if it’s true you get detention, if it’s false you get suspended.” What did the Joe say that caused him not to get punished at all?

If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?

In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

Before Mountain Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

What goes in dry and hard but comes out soft and wet?

What four letter word that ends in “k” means the same as intercourse?

Your finger fits right in it. You play with it when you’re bored. Once you’re married, you’re stuck with the same one forever. What is it?

What’s six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?

You play with it at night in bed. You’re not allowed to fiddle with it a work. Only very special people are allowed to touch it. What is it?

What’s long and hard and has cum in it?

What does every woman have that starts with a “V” and that she can use to get what she wants?

What goes up, lets out a load, and then goes back down?

What does a cow have four of that a woman only has two of?

I sometimes cause pain when I go in. I’ll fill your holes if you ask me to. I ask you to spit not swallow. What am I?

What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow?

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long. Michael J. Fox’s is really short. Mickey Mouse’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one. What is it?

What does a dog do that you can step into?

What starts with “p” and ends with “orn” and is really popular in the movie industry?

What four letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k”, and if you can’t get one you can use your hands instead?

It’s fun to do but you hate knowing your parents do it too. What is it?

What four letter word ends in “it” and can be found at the bottom of bird cages?

Every man has one. Some are big, some are small. It feels great when you blow it, but it drips if you aren’t careful. What is it?

What word starts with “c” and ends with “t” and is synonymous with pussy?

What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked?

What does a man have that gets bigger if it’s properly stimulated?

What’s white, gooey, sticky, and better to spit than swallow?

What does a man have in his trousers that a lady doesn’t want in her face?

It involves a bed. Some people prefer it on top, while others prefer it on the bottom. What is it?

I’m hard and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside. My name begins with “c”, ends in “t”, and there’s a “u” and “n” in between them. What am i?

What’s beautiful and natural, but gets long and prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?

I have a stiff shaft and my tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?

I go in hard and come out soft. I never mind if you blow me. What am I?

What kind of cup has holes in it when it is new, is designed to withstand a heavy beating and should never be used for drinking?

I can be crushed to pieces but only if I am given away first, I can be clogged and attacked but that’s usually my own doing. No matter how many problems I have, you wouldn’t dare let me go. What am I?

I flop around on sticks and sometimes you cheer me as I do, I desperately need a white powder to do what needs to be done, and looking at me you might wonder why I look like I am about to go swimming. What am I?

What is the only 5 letter word that becomes larger when you add the letter “r” to it?

I have a home and a big space, I have keys but I have no locks, I have lots of letters but I have no mailbox. What am I?

What can you stick between a 3 and a 4 so that the result is more than three but less than four?

Dark or white, sweet or bitter, sometime I can be Belgian and sometimes I can be Swiss. What am I?

I love sugars and treats, I am a little critter and I sound a lot like your Mom and Dad’s sister. What am I?

People say I put doctors out of business, sometimes I am sour, sometimes I am sweet, I can be eaten and can also be drunk. What am I?

Hillary went out to dinner at a restaurant. She lost something very important. She looked everywhere but to no avail. Suddenly a beautiful waitress came up to her with the very thing she was looking for. What did the waitress say to Hillary?

You can find me in the Earth, Mercury, Mars, Saturn, and Jupiter but not in Venus and Neptune. What am I?

If Joe is hungry and has 6 apples with him, 2 in his hands, one on his lap and 3 on the table, why is he not eating them?

Kids get high on me, I make them go wild and then they crash whenever they have too much of me? Am I a drug? What am I?

I can be English, Roman, Latin or Greek. I come in different amounts and you can mix and match me and I can take on an almost infinite number of forms. What am I?

What did the subtraction symbol do on Facebook to the number two that made the number two very sad?

According to the encyclopedia which comes first, the chicken or the egg?

If you combine hungry people, gambling and hippies what do you get?

Why did the male janitor get in trouble for going out with the female coal miner?

What word in the dictionary is hilarious?

What kind of money do guacamole and salsa need in order for them to go gambling?

How can you tell that Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune are about to get married?

What did the smelly feet and smelly shoes say to each before going to a long day walking?

What food is so funny that it can be a comedian?

What did Roger rabbit give to Jessica rabbit when they got engaged?

What did the ice cream say to the spoon when they are romancing each other?